to see things as they really are

Shuvi Shrivastava
3 min readJan 9, 2022

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both triggered and inspired by a last-minute text from a friend who’d enrolled, i ended up at a vipassana camp for the year-end break. and as everyone who’s done vipassana knows, you’re supposed to blog, tweet, insta post about it for a whole week because in the age of ‘pics or it didn’t happen’, nothing is real unless backed by shared knowledge and collective belief.

on a serious note, i write for people who, like me in the last 4 years, have been on the fence about attending. yes, it’s 10 days of no talking, no dinner, no contact with the outside world, and basically meditating for 8–10 hours a day. but that’s not the hard part — the hard part is facing all the ugliness inside of you, the fact that no matter how special or intellectual or enlightened you think you are, you’re the same basic ape with the same primitive feelings like the billions of people around you. oh also, your existence is accidental, insignificant, and fleeting. and while you know this at a cognitive level, you still take pleasure in cheap thrills, get offended by microaggressions and happily get attached to other objects/humans/experiences that are similarly ephemeral. like a lab rat, running away from pain and towards pleasure, forever at the mercy of circumstances over which we have no control. did i mention basic?

on an even more serious note, i’ve experimented with a few other meditation techniques over the last few years and personally found vipassana to be the ‘purest’ or most ‘first principled’ way of finding my peace and purpose, primarily for its foundational concepts that resonated very deeply:
[spoiler alert]
- experiential truth: while most religious or spiritual practices are oriented around a figure or a chant, vipassana is about going within and understanding yourself. the idea is to see, truly see, what exists versus believing in someone else’s narrative. a lot of the ideas that come up through the program are ones you’ve likely heard before or read about, but the challenge in following them comes from understanding them intellectually but not viscerally, rationalising but not truly internalizing. vipassana attempts to shift this.
- do the work: given the centrality of most religions towards an external being, ‘dharma’ has gotten reduced to asking for favours, blessings, and forgiveness of this all-powerful being. in stark contrast, the precepts of vipassana involve you putting the effort to stay on the path of enlightenment/dharma. it’s all you, nobody else will come and uplift you, you gotta lift your own self. like this blog post won’t change your life unless you try the practice yourself, no third party will change your life unless you do the work.
- personal responsibility: consistent with the ethos of the two concepts above, the larger idea that how we act, what we feel, is really our doing and not the de facto response to our environment is very powerful. it implies personal accountability for what we do versus blaming it on other people/things/situations. it also means being intentional about what we do, how we feel, versus letting our basal responses take over. once you really get it, you notice this is a common trait in the people you most respect, the ones who get the most shit done.

things to keep in mind if you’re signing up:
- keep the faith. don’t look to reconcile your pre-existing scientific, religious or philosophical ideologies with what you hear over these ten days. suspend disbelief for the time you’re at the centre. critiquing without understanding can come in the way of understanding something fully and it’s no different with vipassana.
- commit to not leaving. one thing that kept me going even when times got tough (and they did every other day) was to not even consider the question of quitting and going back. it was simply not an option on the table unless there was a health emergency.

parting thoughts, my recommendation is to go. it’s tough and intense and terrifying from the outside (and it’ll be 60% of the way there inside) but you’ll come away looking at the world and yourself differently. don’t take my word for it, see it for yourself!

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Shuvi Shrivastava

So opposed to the mainstream that I have never owned an Android phone.